I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
