The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
