There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I pour the whiskey from now on
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
