YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
