ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
