I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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