im drinking this country out of the recession.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
where am i from again
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
