he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
