hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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