The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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