im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
