the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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