Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
