i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
