Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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