you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
