I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I love you. Go after that dick
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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