Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
