I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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