Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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