the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
