my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I am mentally ready for anal.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
