Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
