Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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