I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Actions speak louder than pants.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
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