so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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