She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
