Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
