The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
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