You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I currently don't understand fingers.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
