His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
