STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I have aggressive nipples.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
