Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
