we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
i think my cat just said my name.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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