Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
