whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
