For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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