i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
