Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You can't just leave with hair like that
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
