there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
