just come out here and I will go home with you...
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
