all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
ttyl tear gas
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
