i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
