I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
