If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
