that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
