And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
