Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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