sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
