so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
