Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
cat food counts as protein by the way
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
We left the knife in your bed.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
