Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
third nipple confirmed
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize