turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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