I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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