I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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