fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
