and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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