oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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