Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
