so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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