The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
My liver just had a heart attack.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
