covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
